old-www/LDP/LG/issue86/lg_backpage.html

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<SMALL>...<I>making Linux just a little more fun!</I></SMALL>
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<BIG><BIG><STRONG><FONT COLOR="maroon">The Back Page</FONT></STRONG></BIG></BIG>
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<ul>
<li><a HREF="#greetings">Greetings from Iron</a>
<li><a HREF="#wacko">Wacko Topic of the Month</a>
<li><a HREF="#nottag">Not The Answer Gang</a>
<li><a HREF="#spam">World of Spam</a>
</ul>
<a name="greetings"></a>
<P> <hr> <P>
<!--====================================================================-->
<center><H3><font color="maroon">Greetings from Iron</font></H3></center>
<P> <HR> <P>
<!--======================================================================-->
<P> Look ma, I got a greetings column just like Heather now!
<P> Only two changes to LG's format this month:
<OL>
<LI> The author bios are the bottom of the articles again. Raj Shekhar
requested this, so he can print the articles and read them off-line while
still seeing the bios. As always, the lastest bio and contact info is on
the author's Author page.
<LI> The yellow articles table on the Front Page and Site Map is smaller now
(when viewed in a graphical browser). Now, if I could just make it smaller
vertically....
</OL>
<P> SSC was closed Christmas week so I had a wonderful five days off. I finished
a long-awaited project, updating the
<A HREF="http://www.cheetahtemplate.org/learn.html">Cheetah Users' Guide</A>.
<P> Then I started putting together a computer for my mom. Right now she's got
Windows 95 on a 486. I gave her the
<A HREF="http://store.linuxjournal.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=LJS&Product_Code=litw&Category_Code=B">Linux in the Workplace</A> book a month ago so that
the transition to Linux won't be a total shock. The book goes over the KDE
user interface step by step with lots of screenshots. Then I had her open her
Word documents on my computer so she could verify they opened properly and that
the user interface was OK, before I commandeer her monitor and keyboard for the
new computer. I had her try out AbiWord, KWord (part of the KOffice suite) and
OpenOffice Writer. Both AbiWord and OpenOffice opened all the documents, but
OpenOffice handled her headers/footers and tabs the best and had a slightly better
user interface. KWord failed to open two of the documents, which had a .doc
extension but were really RTF (Rich Text Format). She doesn't know how they
got that way. So I used "Save As..." in OpenOffice to convert them back to Word
format.
<P> Rather than installing Debian from scratch and remembering all my
customizations, I decided to clone my existing partitions and delete what she
won't use. That went well enough, although again I had to use "linear" in
/etc/lilo.conf instead of "lba32". That's the third drive it's happened with,
which confirms that it's my BIOS' fault, not the drives'. We'll see what the
new motherboard does when I connect it up.
<P> I did have trouble making a boot floppy. First, I couldn't find my Debian
rescue disk. Then I found a disk that booted my current system. It contained
just a kernel, no LILO. I could use <CODE>rdev</CODE> to change the root
device, but I didn't want to sabotage my only boot floppy, so I tried to make
another boot floppy. But every time I copied the kernel to a disk and booted
from it, it would hang after the "Uncompressing Linux..." message, saying something
like, "unexpected end of compressed data: system halted". One disk gave an I/O
error so I threw it out, but it wouldn't work on two other disks either. I tried
both <CODE>cp</CODE>'ing and <CODE>dd</CODE>'ing the kernel, but neither way
worked. Then I realized I could set up LILO for my new system from my old
system, so I did that instead. The first time I got the "L 99 99 99" error, but
the second time it worked.
<P> Friday my DSL went down, and I spent four days calling Qwest and The River
(my ISP) to do something about it. Actually, it's not "down" but there's 99%
packet loss, which is essentially the same thing. It would come up every
several hours just long enough for a bit of e-mail to slip in and out, and then
go down again. The ISP and Qwest wouldn't support Linux so I had to plug in my
roommate's Windows XP box so they could troubleshoot it. We checked the IP
configuration multiple times and reconfigured the DSL modem (which involves
plugging in a serial "management cable" and running
Minicom/Kermit/HyperTerminal and typing commands to a router OS). I kept
asking, "Can you see the ping packets going back and forth? Can you see the
ATM packets?" They could (sometimes), but I wasn't getting replies. I decided
to call them both once a day until somebody took responsibility for it, or I
cancelled the service, whichever came first. Finally on Monday, Qwest admitted
they were having severe hardware problems in the DSLAM (that's the DSL
connector in the central office), and that it had been going up and down for a
week. Contradicting what the woman had told me Sunday, that there had been a
DSLAM problem but they had fixed in at 10pm Saturday. It's doing a lot better
today (Tuesday), but it's still not fixed.
<P> Just for fun, here's a
<A HREF="misc/backpage/mad_mike_nolegos.png">picture of me</A> that LJ made for the
<A HREF="misc/backpage/lj-cover104.png">December cover</A>, then decided not to
use. Here's how they
<A HREF="misc/backpage/mad_mike.png">would have gone together</A>. (I can already
see Ben Okopnik saying, "I knew it. I just knew it. You can't trust that Mike
any farther than you can throw him....") It was Don Marti's
idea, but then the Marketing department decided they couldn't have a picture of
somebody smashing people with a hammer on the cover, even if they are lego
people....
<a name="wacko"></a>
<P> <hr> <P>
<!--====================================================================-->
<center><H3><font color="maroon">Wacko Topic of the Month</font></H3></center>
<P> <HR> <P>
<!--======================================================================-->
<EM>Thomas Adam got this from his local LUG. Ben Okopnik says it's a
</EM>very<EM> old list, and he can't figure out which version of csh or
Unix they apply to, certainly not to <CODE>bsd-csh</CODE> or <CODE>tcsh</CODE>
under Linux.</EM>
<BLOCKQUOTE>
The following extracts are typed into the Unix "Cshell":-
<PRE>
% ^How did the sex change^operation go?
Modifier failed.
% make love
Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.
% man woman
No manual entry for woman.
% sleep with me
bad character
% got a light?
No match.
% man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.
% scan for &lt;&lt;"Arnold Schwarzenegger"^J^D
"Arnold Schwarzenegger": &lt;&lt; terminator not found
% ar m God
ar: God does not exist
% ^What is saccharine?
Bad substitute.
% %blow
%blow: No such job.
% cat 'the can of tuna'
cat: cannot open the can of tuna
$ mkdir matter; cat&gt;matter
matter: cannot create
$ drink <bottle; opener
bottle: cannot open
opener: not found
</PRE>
</BLOCKQUOTE>
<HR NOSHADE WIDTH="80%%"> <!--*********************** -->
Here's another old Unix joke Walt R sent in. It's a bit late for Christmas,
but at least now it's in LG for posterity.
<H4>Santa learns Unix(Author Unknown)</H4>
<PRE>
better !pout !cry
better watchout
lpr why
santa claus &lt; north pole &gt; town
cat /etc/passwd &gt; list
ncheck list
ncheck list
cat list | grep naughty &gt; nogiftlist
cat list | grep nice &gt; giftlist
santa claus &lt; north pole &gt; town
who | grep sleeping
who | grep awake
who | grep bad || good
for (goodness sake) {be good}
echo "Oh,"
better !pout !cry
better watchout
lpr why
santa claus &lt; north pole &gt; town
</PRE>
<a name="nottag"></a>
<P> <hr> <P>
<!--====================================================================-->
<center><H3><font color="maroon">Not The Answer Gang</font></H3></center>
<P> <HR> <P>
<!--======================================================================-->
<BLOCKQUOTE><STRONG>
when i start up my pc sometimes a window box comes up saying your system has
performed an illegal operation and it reads:
<BR><TT>spool32 caused invalid page in
module spool32 exe at 0167:00402015</TT><BR>
please help
</STRONG></BLOCKQUOTE>
<H4>Iron:</H4>
That's normal Windows behavior.
<H4>Thomas Adam:</H4>
My only guess is that you're using Linux (good man!)
and that you've neglected to realise that you
currently have the BSOD (Blue Screen Of Death)
screensaver running.
I know it is confusing, especially as you've probably
only just made the crossover from Windows to Linux,
but bear with us, the BSOD screensaver is only a
joke!! You poor thing -- you don't have to be haunted
anymore. YOU'RE FREE!!
<IMG ALT=":)" SRC="../gx/dennis/smily.gif" WIDTH="20" HEIGHT="24">
<IMG ALT=":)" SRC="../gx/dennis/smily.gif" WIDTH="20" HEIGHT="24">
<IMG ALT=":)" SRC="../gx/dennis/smily.gif" WIDTH="20" HEIGHT="24">
<IMG ALT=":)" SRC="../gx/dennis/smily.gif" WIDTH="20" HEIGHT="24">
<HR NOSHADE WIDTH="80%%"> <!--*********************** -->
<BLOCKQUOTE><STRONG>
my question is<BR>
1. The beginning of gangs?<BR>
2.their reason for joining a gang in those years?<BR>
3. In what state/country did gang first began?<BR>
please write as much as you can about this is for a report.
</STRONG></BLOCKQUOTE>
<H4>Iron:</H4>
(1) What is a gang? Is a group of close friends a gang? If not, what would they
have to do to be a gang? Get a name? A clubhouse? A secret handshake?
Choose a bandana color? Look menacing? Sell drugs and shoot people?
<P> (2) I bet you can already answer this. If not, you can ask some gang members, or
see any of the hundreds of studies and documentaries that focus on this
question. Or take any pop movie (Colors, West Side Story, American History X,
8 Mile, A Clockwork Orange, Quadrophenia, etc) and ask, why did those people
join gangs? What benefits do they get by being in them? What is their family
life like? Is there something missing in their family life? Is there any
connection between the two?
<P> Quadrophenia has a lot to say about this. Why is Jimmy a mod? Why is he so
excited about the demonstration in Brighton? Why is he so devastated when he
goes to Brighton again and it's empty? How does his mom treat him? How does
his dad treat him? When he tries to convince his girlfriend not to dump him,
what are their differing views about the Brighton rumble?
<P> (3) depends on how you answer (1).
<HR NOSHADE WIDTH="80%%"> <!--*********************** -->
<BLOCKQUOTE><STRONG>
what is meant by Tier 2/3 ISPs<BR>
send tme the details if u dont mind
</STRONG></BLOCKQUOTE>
<H4>Rick Moen:</H4>
the details r that u dont quite grasp what "linux-questions-only@ssc.com"
means. thx. have a nice day. c ya.
<a name="spam"></a>
<P> <hr> <P>
<!--====================================================================-->
<center><H3><font color="maroon">World of Spam</font></H3></center>
<P> <HR> <P>
<!--======================================================================-->
<P> The Register has an article on how
<A HREF="http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/28/28561.html">Nigeria scam money
can help pay off the US national debt</A>!
<HR NOSHADE WIDTH="80%%"> <!--*********************** -->
&lt;title&gt;Wipe Out Junk Email!&lt;/title&gt;<BR>
a.copy:link {font-family: verdana; font-size: 13px; color: black; text-deco=
ration: none; }=0D<BR>
&lt;span style=3D"font-family: verdana; font-size: 12px;"&gt;If you can not=
see this please go to:=0D
<P>
&lt;!--TRACKING IMAGE--&gt;&lt;!--TRACKING IMAGE--&gt;=0D
&lt;img src=3D"http://www.mailwiper.com/images/501.gif" width=3D"1" height=3D"=
1" alt=3D"" border=3D"0"&gt;=0D
&lt;!--TRACKING IMAGE--&gt;&lt;!--TRACKING IMAGE--&gt;&lt;/td&gt;
<P>
Tired of Deleting Junk Mail?<BR>
Are you fed
up with a <b>flood</b> of unwanted <b>offensive eMails?</b> This is referred to
as junk e-mail, Spam, <b>unsolicited e-mail...Nasty eMails etc</b>.
The problem is it's <b>disgusting and ugly</b>, it's an <b>invasion of your
privacy</b>, and it is <b>definitely a huge waste of Your time</b>.
<P>
Wipe Out Junk Mail Forever!<BR>
XXXXX works 100% of the time or your money back!
<BLOCKQUOTE><EM>
[Spam-killing software that's advertised in a highly decorated HTML
spam? That really gives me a lot of confidence. Especially when the ad
has a TRACKING IMAGE built into it. How do I know this software I'm buying
won't have its own tracking utility built into it too? -Iron.]
</EM></BLOCKQUOTE>
<HR NOSHADE WIDTH="80%%"> <!--*********************** -->
I have visited your site and I think that design looks not good now.
Here we are - XXXXX.com. Check it out! We have hired 2 new designers
from Indonesia. They rocks!
<HR NOSHADE WIDTH="80%%"> <!--*********************** -->
Do not show ugly website to people! Make cool website.
Let it start here - www.liquid2d.com .
Website templates are here for your website. Use most
advanced design concept from the best designers.
Become the best amoung other websites. Use the
best designers in the world.
<HR NOSHADE WIDTH="80%%"> <!--*********************** -->
<PRE>
SPAM: -------------------- Start SpamAssassin results ----------------------
SPAM: This mail is probably spam. The original message has been altered
SPAM: so you can recognise or block similar unwanted mail in future.
SPAM: See http://spamassassin.org/tag/ for more details.
SPAM:
SPAM: Content analysis details: (25.60 hits, 5 required)
SPAM: INVALID_DATE_TZ_ABSURD (4.4 points) Invalid Date: header (timezone does not exist)
SPAM: SUBJ_HAS_SPACES (4.2 points) Subject contains lots of white space
SPAM: INVALID_MSGID (1.2 points) Message-Id is not valid, according to RFC 2822
SPAM: BAD_CREDIT (2.5 points) BODY: Eliminate Bad Credit
SPAM: NO_OBLIGATION (1.5 points) BODY: There is no obligation.
SPAM: NO_FEE (0.9 points) BODY: No Fees
SPAM: MORTGAGE_OBFU (0.7 points) BODY: Attempt at obfuscating the word "mortgage"
SPAM: WHY_WAIT (0.7 points) BODY: What are you waiting for
SPAM: CLICK_BELOW (0.3 points) BODY: Asks you to click below
SPAM: SPAM_PHRASE_08_13 (-0.1 points) BODY: Spam phrases score is 08 to 13 (medium)
SPAM: [score: 8]
SPAM: HTML_70_90 (0.9 points) BODY: Message is 70-90% HTML tags
SPAM: KNOWN_MAILING_LIST (-2.1 points) Email came from some known mailing list software
SPAM: DATE_IN_FUTURE_06_12 (1.7 points) Date: is 6 to 12 hours after Received: date
SPAM: SUBJ_HAS_UNIQ_ID (0.2 points) Subject contains a unique ID
SPAM: RCVD_IN_DSBL (3.2 points) RBL: Received via a relay in list.dsbl.org
SPAM: [RBL check: found 50.148.244.195.list.dsbl.org]
SPAM: RCVD_IN_MULTIHOP_DSBL (0.8 points) RBL: Received via a relay in multihop.dsbl.org
SPAM: [RBL check: found 2.16.57.200.multihop.dsbl.org]
SPAM: RCVD_IN_OSIRUSOFT_COM (0.4 points) RBL: Received via a relay in relays.osirusoft.com
SPAM: [RBL check: found 50.148.244.195.relays.osirusoft.com.]
SPAM: RCVD_IN_UNCONFIRMED_DSBL (0.8 points) RBL: Received via a relay in unconfirmed.dsbl.org
SPAM: [RBL check: found 2.16.57.200.unconfirmed.dsbl.org]
SPAM: X_OSIRU_OPEN_RELAY (2.7 points) RBL: DNSBL: sender is Confirmed Open Relay
SPAM: CTYPE_JUST_HTML (0.7 points) HTML-only mail, with no text version
SPAM:
SPAM: -------------------- End of SpamAssassin results ---------------------
</PRE>
<HR NOSHADE WIDTH="80%%"> <!--*********************** -->
Dear in christ,<BR>
Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you. I got
your name and contact from the Ivoirian chamber of commerce and industry.
<P> I prayed over it and selected your name among other names due to its
esteeming nature and the recommendations given to me as a reputable and trust
worthy person that I can do business with and by the recommendation , I must
not hesitate to confide in you for this simple and sincere business . I am Miss
PAULINE ATTAN the only daughter of late Mr.and Mrs. ATTAN . My father was a
very wealthy cocoa merchant in Abidjan , the economic capital of Ivory coast,
my father was poisoned to death by his business associates on one of their
outings on a business trip .
<P> My mother died when I was a baby and since then my father took me so
special. Before the death of my father on November 2001 in a private hospital
here in Abidjan he secretly called me on his bed side and told me that he has
the sum of eighten million,five hundred thousand United State Dollars. USD
($18.500,000) left in one of the Security Companies in overseas.
<HR NOSHADE WIDTH="80%%"> <!--*********************** -->
<BLOCKQUOTE><EM>
[Note the use of quotes to confuse spamfilters. -Iron.]
</EM></BLOCKQUOTE>
<P> From: A Millionaire &lt;success@dailypromo.com&gt;
<P> You May Be closer (maybe hours away) To 'Financial' 'Freedom'
than you think...
<P> If you needed '$24,000' in 24 Hours
And your life depended on it?. How would you do it?
'Click' 'Here'
<HR NOSHADE WIDTH="80%%"> <!--*********************** -->
<P> U-harvest turns your PC to a powerful marketing machine. It scans, in a
blinding speed, every word and every page of targeted, well defined list of
websites, defined by your favorite search engine and harvests e-mail addresses.
<P> U-harvest- business at the speed of thought.
<HR NOSHADE WIDTH="80%%"> <!--*********************** -->
I WANT TO ORDER 50 OF THIS BOOK [Linux Firewalls (2nd Edition)] FORM YOUR
SHOP AND I WANT MY ORDER TO BE SHIPPED TO MY SHOP IN LAGOS NIERIA I WILL BE
HAPPY IF YOU CAL.
<HR NOSHADE WIDTH="80%%"> <!--*********************** -->
I'd like to stay informed. Could you add my home account to our mailing list?
It's XXXXX@hotmail.com Thanks for adding me to your mailing list.
And, if you're every in the market for music industry contacts let me know.
<HR NOSHADE WIDTH="80%%"> <!--*********************** -->
Please note that after years, the registration on the domain name
PhpInternational.Com was not renewed and this domain had become available to
register. Consequently, we have been approached to market this domain name
that has beentracked an PhpInternational.Com now available from us for
IMMEDIATE transfer.
With so many companies that could benefit from this domain, along with what
many would consider to be a "wholesale price", we hope to secure a quick
transfer.
<P> Please note that the domain name market is extremely solid at the moment and
similar domains are currently selling on afternic.com, greatdomains.com
(domain auction sites) and by domain name brokers, in some cases, for many
thousands of US dollars.
<HR NOSHADE WIDTH="80%%"> <!--*********************** -->
Do you hate those annoying, unwanted pop-up ads?
Sure you do!! Everyone does!!
Get rid of pop-up ads with the Pop-Up Defender Software!!
<P> For only $19.95 you can regain control of your web browsing
experience and eliminate unwanted pop-ups!!
SAVE $20.00 off the regular price!!
<HR NOSHADE WIDTH="80%%"> <!--*********************** -->
Do you want to run your own dating or adult contact site for free ?
Whether you are interested in making money or new friends/contacts, running
your own dating site can be the best way to do it.
<HR NOSHADE WIDTH="80%%"> <!--*********************** -->
I am Madam Brenda Williams wife/widow to late Gen Patrick Williams
an Army Officer, im also a mother of 3 lovely boys, Patrick
(12yrs), Kevin (8yrs), Dotun which is a traditional name, he his 5
yrs, and im also the last wife out of 3, married to my late husband.
<P> Before my husband died he willed all his landed property to his elder
wives and children, all the elder wives and their children enjoyed
what is left of our husbands wealth, leaving me the last wife with
nothing, well we did not get along well when he was alive but he
loved the kids i had for him.
<P> Things are not going too well, after 1yr of his death, i mean raising
the kids, sending them to school, clothing them even shelter and
feeding, my parents are already dead, just me in this miserable world
and i have just 2 months to evacuate the house im staying now, all
the other wives dont allow me in their houses including the house i
used to live with my husband before he died or even render any kind
of help, but i really loved my husband.
<P> Why i have contacted you is because my late husband left some money
for his children (7 million US Dollars) deposited in a Security
Company(www.XXXXX.net) abroad, which was revealed to me by
the family lawyer just 6 months ago, which he claimed to be the time
stated on the will by my late husband to avoid clashes between myself
and the other wives.
<P> But this money can only be claimed when each child is up to 21yrs in
age, not even myself can extract from this fund according to the
will. The other option is if i can provide someone(FORIEGNER) who
will stand as a caretaker for my kids and my self, and help invest
this money with profit in future.
<HR NOSHADE WIDTH="80%%"> <!--*********************** -->
Subject: Urgent for {%Address%}
<HR NOSHADE WIDTH="80%%"> <!--*********************** -->
Subject: Run in DOS mode.
<PRE>
--F5785stD5yBm2edp57QD583O07A3k2RY1
Content-Type: text/html;
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
&lt;HTML&gt;&lt;HEAD&gt;&lt;/HEAD&gt;&lt;BODY&gt;
&lt;iframe src=cid:J3d6lrE5 height=0 width=0&gt;
&lt;/iframe&gt;
&lt;FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/BODY&gt;&lt;/HTML&gt;
--F5785stD5yBm2edp57QD583O07A3k2RY1
Content-Type: audio/x-midi;
name=mode..bat
Content-Transfer-Encoding: base64
Content-ID: <J3d6lrE5>
TVqQAAMAAAAEAAAA//8AALgAAAAAAAAAQAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAA2AAAAA4fug4AtAnNIbgBTM0hVGhpcyBwcm9ncmFtIGNhbm5vdCBiZSBydW4gaW4g
--F5785stD5yBm2edp57QD583O07A3k2RY1
--F5785stD5yBm2edp57QD583O07A3k2RY1
Content-Type: application/octet-stream;
name=pcmcia_result.htm
Content-Transfer-Encoding: base64
Content-ID: <J3d6lrE5>
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACBydW4gaW4g
RE9TIG1vZGUuDQ0KJAAAAAAAAAD0wSw9sKBCbrCgQm6woEJuWL9JbrGgQm4zvExuuaBCbtK/
UW63oEJusKBDbv2gQm5Yv0huqqBCbgimRG6xoEJuWL9GbrGgQm5SaWNosKBCbgAAAAAAAAAA
--F5785stD5yBm2edp57QD583O07A3k2RY1--
</PRE>
<BLOCKQUOTE><EM>
[Did you catch the names of those files? -Iron.]
</EM></BLOCKQUOTE>
<HR NOSHADE WIDTH="80%%"> <!--*********************** -->
Have you ever seen a fully automated popcorn vending machine that allows your
customer to insert a coin or coins and receive a bag of freshly cooked popcorn
within a minute, complete with buttery topping and a choice of delicious
flavorings?
Here is a unique opportunity to profit from healthy popcorn, the largest and
the fastest growing segment of the snack food industry.
<HR> <!-- ************************************************************** -->
<P> Happy Linuxing!
<P> Mike ("Iron") Orr<br>
Editor, <A HREF="http://www.linuxgazette.com/"><i>Linux Gazette</i></A>, <A
HREF="mailto:gazette@ssc.com">gazette@ssc.com</a>
<BR CLEAR="all">
<!-- *** BEGIN author bio *** -->
<P>&nbsp;
<P>
<!-- *** END author bio *** -->
<!-- *** BEGIN copyright *** -->
<hr>
<CENTER><SMALL><STRONG>
Copyright &copy; 2003, .
Copying license <A HREF="../copying.html">http://www.linuxgazette.com/copying.html</A><BR>
Published in Issue 86 of <i>Linux Gazette</i>, January 2003
</STRONG></SMALL></CENTER>
<!-- *** END copyright *** -->
<HR>
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