159 lines
8.2 KiB
HTML
159 lines
8.2 KiB
HTML
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<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 3.2//EN">
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<HTML><HEAD>
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<title>The Foolish Things We Do With Our Computers LG #84</title>
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<IMG ALT="" SRC="../gx/navbar/left.jpg" WIDTH="14" HEIGHT="45" BORDER="0" ALIGN="bottom"><A HREF="okopnik.html"><IMG ALT="[ Prev ]" SRC="../gx/navbar/prev.jpg" WIDTH="16" HEIGHT="45" BORDER="0" ALIGN="bottom"></A><A HREF="index.html"><IMG ALT="[ Table of Contents ]" SRC="../gx/navbar/toc.jpg" WIDTH="220" HEIGHT="45" BORDER="0" ALIGN="bottom" ></A><A HREF="../index.html"><IMG ALT="[ Front Page ]" SRC="../gx/navbar/frontpage.jpg" WIDTH="137" HEIGHT="45" BORDER="0" ALIGN="bottom"></A><A HREF="http://www.linuxgazette.com/cgi-bin/talkback/all.py?site=LG&article=http://www.linuxgazette.com/issue84/orr.html"><IMG ALT="[ Talkback ]" SRC="../gx/navbar/talkback.jpg" WIDTH="121" HEIGHT="45" BORDER="0" ALIGN="bottom" ></A><A HREF="../lg_faq.html"><IMG ALT="[ FAQ ]" SRC="./../gx/navbar/faq.jpg"WIDTH="62" HEIGHT="45" BORDER="0" ALIGN="bottom"></A><A HREF="ortiz.html"><IMG ALT="[ Next ]" SRC="../gx/navbar/next.jpg" WIDTH="15" HEIGHT="45" BORDER="0" ALIGN="bottom" ></A><IMG ALT="" SRC="../gx/navbar/right.jpg" WIDTH="15" HEIGHT="45" ALIGN="bottom">
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<TABLE BORDER><TR><TD WIDTH="200">
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<A HREF="http://www.linuxgazette.com/">
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<IMG ALT="LINUX GAZETTE" SRC="../gx/2002/lglogo_200x41.png"
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WIDTH="200" HEIGHT="41" border="0"></A>
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<BR CLEAR="all">
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<SMALL>...<I>making Linux just a little more fun!</I></SMALL>
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</TD><TD WIDTH="380">
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<CENTER>
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<BIG><BIG><STRONG><FONT COLOR="maroon">The Foolish Things We Do With Our Computers</FONT></STRONG></BIG></BIG>
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<BR>
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<STRONG>By <A HREF="../authors/orr.html">Mike ("Iron") Orr</A></STRONG>
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</TD></TR>
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<H2>Genericide</H2>
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By <A HREF="mailto:adrian.watson@bg-group.com">Adrian Watson</A>
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<P> I wondered if you'd like to include this in your series.
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This is a true story of a not too techie mate of mine. He had two Windows
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machines that he had networked, and they had stopped working. I went to see
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if I could fix the problem for him.
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<P> I checked and re-inserted the network cards but the machines still had
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trouble talking to each other. I used the 'Control Panel' to display a
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list of the drivers present, thinking that perhaps they were using different
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protocols. My mate was keenly watching everything I did. Then he asked
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me what 'genericide' means?
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<P> Totally baffled, I followed his eyes to the screen. He was looking at the Hard
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Disk Driver: "Generic IDE".
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<P> I told him it was when a drive crashes.
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<P> P.S. I found out later why his network cards wouldn't talk to each other.
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He'd run the cable across the floor and used to roll his office chair across
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the cable to access whichever machine he needed at the time. The co-ax gave
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up after a few weeks of that treatment.
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<HR NOSHADE WIDTH="80%%"> <!--*********************** -->
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<H2>Peripheral abuse</H2>
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By <A HREF="mailto:k.lattimer@nnc-consultancy.co.uk">Karl Lattimer</A>
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<P> The stupidest thing I've ever done with a computer, I havn't done once,
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but repeatedly. If it weren't for these idiotic mishaps I would have an
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AMD Athlon XP 2.2 by now, but alas my Duron will suffice....
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<H3>Weakness 1: the keyboard</H3>
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It started with my first keyboard about 3
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years back now. I had my drinking buddy over and we were down to our last
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glass of wine after the beer, sherry, gin, vodka, etc, had all ran out. In a
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scooner, because we were short on real glasses. I sat the glass near my poor
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helpless keyboard while I continued to talk a slurred form of cod and
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gesticulated rapidly, <chingggggg!> went the glass, and my keyboard started
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sparking. (It's true what they say, water don't do nothing, but coke, wine,
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beer etc make sparks.) The problem was, I had a college assignment in the next
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day and, well, I was quite distraught.
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<P> My next keyboard was donated
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by a friend, but with a PS2 connector instead of an AT. so I
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removed the cable from my dead keyboard and swapped it around (4 pins, 16
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combinations, eight nails and some particle board), and voila! The keyboard was
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complete and working! It looked better without the plastic cover on it (an
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old one with a black metal lump and an exposed circuit board), so I left it
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as is.
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<P> The next incident happened about 2 years later. Stupidly I was
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sitting at my computer, on the back rest, not the seat, while talking on IRC
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with one hand and untying my shoe laces with the other. I wear Doc Martins,
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10 hole. While slipping the first boot off I tipped, and so did the chair.
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My other boot left the chair, kicked my desk, and the keyboard flew about 8
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feet from the computer, along with the coffee and the ash tray, and all three hit
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the back wall. The keyboard was not destroyed, however. It continued to work
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for another week, then a cascade effect emanating from the Print Screen key
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finally caused its death.
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<P> A fair few keyboards in between, I now use an M$
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natural, and my RSI has since cleared up, I'm looking after this keyboard
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carefully after way too many accidents!!!
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<P> <STRONG>Update 31-Oct-2002:</STRONG> Just as this article was going to
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press, I spilled water on my natural keyboard and it survived!!!! I havn't had
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it apart yet because I'm scared of the mini Bill Gates that sits inside its
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huge posterior. I havn't had any real problems, apart from once when the lights
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flickered and the up arrow seems to cease up every once in a while. Normally
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while playing MOHAA or AVP2 as a LAN game!!!!
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<H3>Weakness 2: the floppy drive</H3>
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In the summer of 1999, I had a grand
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total of six floppy drives within four months, each costing between 5 and 10
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pounds. The reason they died was, in three instances I connected the drive the
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wrong way round. Because they were cheap drives, the light didn't come on and
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stay on as you would expect. No, instead the drive fizzled and smelled bad.
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One drive died due to chocolate abuse. (A friend of mine gets chocolate on
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everything, and a disk was his victim.) Another drive perished from beer
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abuse, and the final drive I can't remember....
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<HR NOSHADE WIDTH="80%%"> <!--*********************** -->
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<BLOCKQUOTE><EM>
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[If you have a story about something foolish or ingenious you
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did to your computer, send it to
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<A HREF="mailto:gazette@ssc.com">gazette@ssc.com</A>. -Iron.]
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</EM></BLOCKQUOTE>
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<!-- *** BEGIN copyright *** -->
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<hr>
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<CENTER><SMALL><STRONG>
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Copyright © 2002, Mike ("Iron") Orr.
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Copying license <A HREF="../copying.html">http://www.linuxgazette.com/copying.html</A><BR>
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Published in Issue 84 of <i>Linux Gazette</i>, November 2002
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</STRONG></SMALL></CENTER>
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