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<TITLE>The Answer Guy 32:
Resume Spam
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resume on AS/400
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<H4>"Linux Gazette...<I>making Linux just a little more fun!</I>"
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<H1 align="center"><A NAME="answer">
<img src="../gx/dennis/qbubble.gif" alt="" border="0" align="middle">
<a href="./index.html">The Answer Guy</a>
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<BR>
<H4 align="center">By James T. Dennis,
<a href="mailto:linux-questions-only@ssc.com">linux-questions-only@ssc.com</a>
<BR>Starshine Technical Services, <A HREF="http://www.starshine.org/">http://www.starshine.org/</A>
</H4>
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<H3><img src="../gx/dennis/qbub.gif" alt="(?)"
width="50" height="28" align="left" border="0"
>Resume Spam</H3>
<p><strong>From Prblnd on 24 Aug 1998 </strong></p>
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<p><strong>AnswerGuy
</strong><//p>
<p><strong>I'm just a LittleGuy, out-of-work..Looking for AS/400 platform
and somebody said I should tell you!
</strong><//p>
<blockquote><img src="../gx/dennis/bbub.gif" height="28" width="50"
alt="(!)" border="0">Who?
</blockquote>
<blockquote>Your assertion that "somebody said" you should tell <EM>me</EM>
sounds very suspicious. If it is true that "somebody" said
you should tell <EM>me</EM> about your plight --- that person is
either stupid or cruel. I'm not a hiring manager. I'm not
a recruiter. I have nothing whatsoever to do with AS/400's
(no slight intended, they sound like nice enough systems).
</blockquote>
<p><strong><img src="../gx/dennis/qbub.gif" height="28" width="50"
alt="(?)" border="0">Question: Can you assist me to find a new start?
<br>Answer:</strong></p>
<blockquote><img src="../gx/dennis/bbub.gif" height="28" width="50"
alt="(!)" border="0">I probably could. However, the fact that you
blindly sent this to me without any evident research into who I
am and what I do suggests that time spent on assisting
you would be wasted.
</blockquote>
<blockquote>However, here's the assistance I will offer:
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
<dl><dt>Research:
<dd>Don't waste your time or anyone else's
by blindly spamming addresses out of the
blue. Do your homework. Send messages to
those who are looking for them and expecting
them. Make it clear in your message how you
selected them and why you hold an expectation
that they have requested your message.
<dt>Writing:
<dd>You message's semantics are horrible. The spelling
and punctuation are reasonable. However, the
phrase "looking for AS/400 platform" doesn't make
sense. I presume you are looking for work that is
"related to the AS/400" or that "requires expertise
with AS/400's." I understand the difficulties
faced by people for whom English is not native;
however, you want to find someone who is literate
and fluent in English to help you edit your messages
to potential employers.
<dt>Tone:
<dd>Desperation is repugnant to most well-balanced
people. Are you really looking for a "new start?"
I would suggest that you focus on just getting
a new job. You don't want to throw suggestions
about "other" problems into the faces of potential
employers.
<p>The phrase "a new start" is idiomatic to Americans
and suggests such unsavory failures as incarceration/
institutionalization, divorce, and/or drug treatment.
These are the sorts of total failures that require
someone to look for a "new start." Merely getting
laid off or even fired is merely enough to look for
a "new job."
<p>Also it is generally useless to appeal to a potential
employer's sympathies. If I were a hiring manager
I don't care if you are a "LittleGuy" or a major
political, philosophical or intellectual figure.
<p>Hiring managers care if you can do the job they need
for the price they are willing to pay. Given multiple
applicants that meet their pre-requisites they are
generally swayed by much more subjective criteria
(such as whether you are related to them, whether
you are previously aquainted, and whether they "like"
you, etc).
<p>So, you want to maintain a "positively neutral"
(and "upbeat") tone in your dealings with
potential employers.
</dl>
</blockquote>
<blockquote>With that in mind let's re-write your message to me:
</blockquote>
<p align="center">------------------------ Begin Rewrite ---------------------------
</p>
<blockquote>Dear Mr. Dennis,
</blockquote>
<blockquote>Sam Ockman told me that you have lots of contacts throughout
the industry. When I mentioned to him that I'm looking for
a new position (systems administration, preferably on AS/400)
he suggested that I drop you a note.
</blockquote>
<blockquote>I've attached my resume. Please feel free to share it with
any of your associates that might be interested. I'm in
Sri Lanka, North Dakota --- but I'm happy to relocate.
</blockquote>
<blockquote>Also, any suggestions you have would be deeply appreciated.
I've looked through some of the sites that are listed in Yahoo!'s
"Employment" sections. There are so many of those that I'm not
sure where to start.
</blockquote>
<blockquote>Thanks.
</blockquote>
<p align="center">------------------------ End Rewrite ---------------------------
</p>
<blockquote>Note: we use a real name here. We don't use an alias.
You could have searched for "answerguy" on Yahoo! gives
242 references and apparently 222 of them point to me.
(I'm not the one on CAGTV --- <A HREF="http://www.linux-questions-only@ssc.com">http://www.linux-questions-only@ssc.com</A>, and
I'm not the one from Square One Tech (<A HREF="http://www.squareonetech.com">http://www.squareonetech.com</A>)
Nor am I listed on Global Online Electronic Services
(<A HREF="http://www.goes.com">http://www.goes.com</A>)). My full name is published in every
article.
</blockquote>
<blockquote>We start of by saying precisely who sent you to me, and why.
If you were referred through some traffic on a newsgroup or
mailing list --- say so!
</blockquote>
<blockquote>Next we state our purpose. Nothing fancy --- just ask as
directly and simply as possible. If you expected that I would
be hiring --- tell me why you thought so. In that case you'd
also want to say way you think that you're a suitable candidate
for the specific positions you think I might have open.
For example:
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
<blockquote>... some participants on the comp.unix.security
newsgroup suggested that you might have an opening
for a new webmaster. I've been working in HTML for
three years, and I'm experienced with the installation
and configuration of a number of popular CGI packages
(including several from Matt's script archive).
</blockquote>
<blockquote>I'm particularly interested in working for your consulting
firm because I want to learn more about Unix and Internet
security and I've heard that you're widely respected in this
field. ...
</blockquote>
</blockquote>
<blockquote>(note: this is all hypothetical --- Starshine Technical Services
does do some security consulting --- but is not "widely" regarded
in the field, yet).
</blockquote>
<blockquote>Lastly, when we ask for more general help we also give some
idea of what we're already doing. We do this for two reasons
--- first is allows are respondent to avoid redundant suggestions.
More importantly, it shows that we are motivated and that we've
done <EM>some</EM> homework.
</blockquote>
<blockquote>The point is that everything you say is relevant to the matter
at hand. You cannot do that unless you do some research.
</blockquote>
<blockquote>Incidentally, people posing technical questions should
take note of this advice. It applies as much for an
"application for technical support" as it does for any
other.
</blockquote>
<blockquote>At this point I get enough mail for the "Answer Guy" that
I don't wonder where people heard of me (when they're
talking about Linux). However, it would be nice if I
knew a bit more about where some of these questions came
from. If someone at a users group meeting says: "You should
send mail to that guy from the Linux Gazette" --- I'd like
to hear about which UG it was.
</blockquote>
<p><strong><img src="../gx/dennis/qbub.gif" height="28" width="50"
alt="(?)" border="0">Question: WILL you assist me in finding the
new career job?
<br>Answer...
</strong></p>
<blockquote><img src="../gx/dennis/bbub.gif" height="28" width="50"
alt="(!)" border="0">No.</blockquote>
<p><strong><img src="../gx/dennis/qbub.gif" height="28" width="50"
alt="(?)" border="0">okay, two questions, only one right answer...
thanks for your time....
</strong><p>
<p><strong>resume attached............................
</strong><p>
<blockquote><img src="../gx/dennis/bbub.gif" height="28" width="50"
alt="(!)" border="0">... (apparently in .DOC format) and deleted
without a glance.
</blockquote>
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<H3><img src="../gx/dennis/qbub.gif" alt="(?)"
width="50" height="28" align="left" border="0"
>More on Resume Spam</H3>
<p><strong>From Prblnd on 24 Aug 1998 </strong></p>
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<p><strong>you made me laugh thru your entire response ..
</strong></p>
<p><strong>thank you -
</strong></p>
<p><strong>Paul
</strong></p>
<blockquote><img src="../gx/dennis/bbub.gif" height="28" width="50"
alt="(!)" border="0">Glad I could help!</blockquote>
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<H5 align="center"><a href="http://www.linuxgazette.com/copying.html"
>Copyright &copy;</a> 1998, James T. Dennis <BR>
Published in <I>Linux Gazette</I> Issue 32 September 1998</H5>
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